Santa Claus - an engineer's perspective - Cycling Mob: Road Cycling, Mountain Biking and More

12-05-2003, 11:13 AM

Any of you asking for bike stuff from Santa Claus might do well to
read this. I didn't check the calculations, but I'm sure it wouldn't
change the final result:

1: There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world, however, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for
Christmas night to just 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to
the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5
children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming at
there is at least one good child in each.

2: Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to
967.7 visits per second. This is to say, for every Christian
household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to
park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks
have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh
and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million
stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which of course, we know
to be false, but will accept for the purpose of our calculations). We
are talking about 1.25 Km per household, a total of 120.8 million Km,
not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is
moving at 1040 Km per second........3,000 times the speed of sound.
For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses
space probe, moves at a poky 43.8 Km per second, and a conventional
reindeer can run (at best) 25 Km per hour.

3: The pay load of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium Lego set (two
pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting
Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than
300 pounds, even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten
times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine
of them......Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the
payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons,
or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship,
not the monarch).

4: 600,000 tons traveling at 1040 Km per second creates enormous air
resistance....this would heat up the lead reindeer in the same fashion
as a space shuttle re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair
of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second
each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously,
exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms
in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the
fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as
a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 1040 k p s in .001
seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 G's. A 250
pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back
of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his
bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

5: Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

--
Dave Kerber
Fight spam: remove the ns_ from the return address before replying!

REAL programmers write self-modifying code.

12-05-2003, 11:20 AM

"David Kerber" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:[Only registered and activated users can see links. ].net...
> Any of you asking for bike stuff from Santa Claus might do well to
> read this. I didn't check the calculations, but I'm sure it wouldn't
> change the final result: {snippage}

Very cute...but older than dirt.

Bill "sorta like Sheldon?" S.

12-05-2003, 11:22 AM

Sorni <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ].rr.com> wrote:
: Bill "sorta like Sheldon?" S.

now you've done it.
--
david reuteler
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

12-05-2003, 11:25 AM

In article <UT4Ab.691$[Only registered and activated users can see links. ].com>, sorni@bite-
me.san.rr.com says...
> "David Kerber" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
> news:[Only registered and activated users can see links. ].net...
> > Any of you asking for bike stuff from Santa Claus might do well to
> > read this. I didn't check the calculations, but I'm sure it wouldn't
> > change the final result: {snippage}
>
> Very cute...but older than dirt.
>
> Bill "sorta like Sheldon?" S.

Yep!

I figured it had been around the internet a few times, but I haven't
seen it before, so figured I'd post it.

--
Dave Kerber
Fight spam: remove the ns_ from the return address before replying!

REAL programmers write self-modifying code.

12-05-2003, 11:34 AM

"David Reuteler" <reuteler@visi.com> wrote in message
news:3fd0db13$0$41286$a1866201@newsreader.visi.com ...
> Sorni <sorni@bite-me.san.rr.com> wrote:
> : Bill "sorta like Sheldon?" S.
>
> now you've done it.

I kid because I love

Bill "almost used Jobst but figured he'd climb through the cable at me" S.

12-05-2003, 07:20 PM

Sorni wrote:
>
> Very cute...but older than dirt.

It is not dirt - the correct term is soil. And since soil is the product
of weathering of rock, it is really not that old in the overall scheme
of things.

Tom Sherman - Planet Earth

12-05-2003, 11:21 PM

David Kerber <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote:
: Any of you asking for bike stuff from Santa Claus might do well to
: read this. I didn't check the calculations, but I'm sure it wouldn't
: change the final result:

Well, I'm afraid anybody who's knowledgeable in Santistics (the
study of Santa Claus and related entities and phenomena) is able
to point out a few errors or omissions in the chain of reasoning.

Still, it's nice to see that this branch of science has reached
the level of mathematical models.

: 1: There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
: the world, however, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
: Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for
: Christmas night to just 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to
: the population reference bureau).

You talk only of major religions. (Also might be a good idea to
check that Santa is not included in Hindu deities.) There's
probably some million people who are religiously unaffiliated, or
belong to minor (eg. local and native) religions.

: 2: Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
: different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
: travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to
: 967.7 visits per second. This is to say, for every Christian
: household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to
: park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
: distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks
: have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh
: and get on to the next house.

It is a well known - and empirically observable - fact that Santa
can be in multiple places at the same time. This is a bit
difficult to explain, but several theories have been suggested.
Some theories are derived from relativity or quantum physics,
while others conclude that Santa is a transcendent entity - and
the empirically observable Santas are "merely" incarnations.

: For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses
: space probe, moves at a poky 43.8 Km per second, and a conventional
: reindeer can run (at best) 25 Km per hour.

I mentioned the reindeer in IRC, which raised some doubts. For
example, I can reach the same speed while sprinting (on feet). Is
that 25 km/h really the reindeer all-out sprint speed in ideal
conditions, or did you get the figure for reindeer cruising speed?

I'm sure if you'd ask for average speeds from reindeer enthusiasts,
they'd post something way higher than 25 km/h!

: 4: 600,000 tons traveling at 1040 Km per second creates enormous air
: resistance....this would heat up the lead reindeer in the same fashion
: as a space shuttle re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair
: of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second
: each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously,
: exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms
: in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
: thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the
: fifth house on his trip.

Maybe, but does the sleigh do athmospheric re-entry? Also it's
possible that Santa mounts some kind of a front fairing on the
lead reindeer in order to reduce aerodynamic drag and minimize the
weather effects. In addition, you fail to mention any
paceline/drafting effects the reindeer would be getting.

: 5: Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

So it seems that the conclusion is in need of slight revision.

--
Risto Varanka | [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
varis at no spam please iki fi

12-05-2003, 11:38 PM

6 Dec 2003 07:21:42 GMT, <bqs026$ktt$[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]>,
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ] wrote:

>I'm sure if you'd ask for average speeds from reindeer enthusiasts,
>they'd post something way higher than 25 km/h!

During migrations, herds move at a rate of 19-55 kilometers / 11-33
miles per day.

The caribou's maximum running speed is 60-80 kmph / 36-48 mph.

When swimming, adults can maintain a speed of 6.5 kpmh / 4 mph, and
when pressed can swim at 10 kmph / 6 mph
--
zk

12-06-2003, 04:50 AM

Risto Varanka [/i]You talk only of major religions. (Also might be a good idea to check that Santa is not included in
Hindu deities.) There's probably some million people who are religiously unaffiliated, or belong to
minor (eg. local and native) religions.[/quote]
Christmas is also held on different dates. In Russia, I believe it will be January 7. Also, their "Grandfather Frost" looks different than the American Santa. So, perhaps there are regional Santas responsible for particular territories.

[quote][i]Originally posted by Risto Varanka wrote:
> Maybe, but does the sleigh do athmospheric re-entry? Also it's possible
> that Santa mounts some kind of a front fairing on the lead reindeer in
> order to reduce aerodynamic drag and minimize the weather effects. In
> addition, you fail to mention any paceline/drafting effects the reindeer
> would be getting.

The sled and harnesses for the reindeer are made of a composite which
zeroes the mass of anything that it touches. As a result, the entire
rig goes at the speed of light and there is no
acceleration/deceleration problem.

All I want for Christmas - a bike made of that mass zeroing composite.

--

12-06-2003, 04:50 AM

Risto Varanka [/i]You talk only of major religions. (Also might be a good idea to check that Santa is not included in
Hindu deities.) There's probably some million people who are religiously unaffiliated, or belong to
minor (eg. local and native) religions.[/quote]
Christmas is also held on different dates. In Russia, I believe it will be January 7. Also, their "Grandfather Frost" looks different than the American Santa. So, perhaps there are regional Santas responsible for particular territories.

[quote][i]Originally posted by Risto Varanka wrote:
> Maybe, but does the sleigh do athmospheric re-entry? Also it's possible
> that Santa mounts some kind of a front fairing on the lead reindeer in
> order to reduce aerodynamic drag and minimize the weather effects. In
> addition, you fail to mention any paceline/drafting effects the reindeer
> would be getting.

The sled and harnesses for the reindeer are made of a composite which
zeroes the mass of anything that it touches. As a result, the entire
rig goes at the speed of light and there is no
acceleration/deceleration problem.

All I want for Christmas - a bike made of that mass zeroing composite.

--