Huge breakthrough for me

08-04-2004, 12:35 PM

So as many of you here already know or may remember (think back or google
back to my trip to California when I was really worked up about how I got
dizzy and couldn't ride my usual distance). At the time I thought it was
physical. A diet thing. A physical thing. It turned out eventually that
it was anxiety and I'm getting treated for that now.

One of my main anxieties is that because I was 400lbs+ at one point (I'm
around 260lbs. now) I will someday die from a heart attack. So I've often
had panic attacks at high times of stress that revolved around exercising
(in my case doing longer bike rides). Well I've been doing really well
lately, treatment wise, and averaging 20-25 miles a day on my commute.
Then a couple weeks ago I went on a 40 mile bike ride while at the coast.
This last weekend, without really thinking about it, I did a 54 mile bike
ride at 4,000 feet. This may not seem like much to many of you, but this
is a huge breakthrough for me. Foremost because I didn't panic when doing
a distance 14 miles longer than the longest I'd ever done before (the 40
mile ride), but also because I had no problems in spite of doing the ride
at 4,000 feet. In the past (I live at sea level) anything that would
change, possibly, the conditions of my physiology would make me panic in
many situations. But I climbed the hills like a champ. Did the ride and I
think I may actually attempt a century later this year. I'll need to read
up on how to prep for that.

Anyway, just wanted to share. Many here have been very helpful as I've
struggled with the anxiety, never knowning that it was anxiety. Now that
I'm in treatment, it's very exciting to be able to push myself like this
without panic.

Preston