Longer rides not with husband? - Page 2 - Cycling Mob: Road Cycling, Mountain Biking and More

06-10-2004, 07:29 PM

In article <yV6yc.1963$zz.1825@attbi_s04>,
"Claire Petersky" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> writes:
> OK, here's the deal.

OK, I admit don't have the attention span right now to fully
comprehend the problem with which you are wrestling, but here's
how I intuit it:

When people list choices: a, b, c, and d, they usually go
from least to most desirable. And also, from least to most
guilt-ridden. So I figure your choice a) would leave you
least guilt-ridden, but also least personally fulfilled.
In the same vein, your choice d) would be the reverse.

So choice a) would leave you feeling ripped-off, while choice d)
would leave you feeling selfish. Either way you lose enjoyment,
so let's rule those out altogether. That narrows your choices
down to the (probable) in-between compromises of b) and c).

If before the ride, your husband does anything that especially
endears you to him, pick b).

If he does anything that annoys you, pick c).

If he does neither, pick b-&-a-half (whatever that might be).

Aw, to heck with it. Pick d) and make it up to him later.
Screw compromises. They never work as intended anyways.

cheers,
Tom

--
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I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

06-10-2004, 08:33 PM

"Mike Kruger" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:0a9d086aa6949047fb383e952a603dbd@news.teranew s.com...
> "Claire Petersky" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
> news:yV6yc.1963$zz.1825@attbi_s04...
> >
> > My husband's in school these days, and this week and next week are the
> > end-of-the-quarter break.
>
> There's some little Peterskys wandering around as well, IIRC. Priorities
> abound.

Gotta talk to my mom about looking after the kids while we're riding, thanks
for reminding me. I've already recruited them for RSVP.

> That should be "our choices".

heh.

> Evaluate the RSVP ride
> afterwards.

Yeah. One of my thoughts is that the kids will be in a drama production the
two weeks before RSVP, so he'll have another opportunity to do extra riding,
while they're in rehearsal. He still has a chance of doing the necessary
training. August is still a ways off.

"Tom Keats" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:fd5bac.j01.ln@bud.garden.local...

> Aw, to heck with it. Pick d) and make it up to him later.
> Screw compromises. They never work as intended anyways.

LOL!

I've been thinking about it, and the 70 mile tandem thing sounds like the
most fun. We just have to do one or two longer rides on the thing so we both
are more comfortable with it as a possibility. I'll talk to him this
evening, see what he's thinking.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Please replace earthlink for mouse-potato and .net for .com
Home of the meditative cyclist:
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
See the books I've set free at: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

06-10-2004, 08:33 PM

"Mike Kruger" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:0a9d086aa6949047fb383e952a603dbd@news.teranew s.com...
> "Claire Petersky" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
> news:yV6yc.1963$zz.1825@attbi_s04...
> >
> > My husband's in school these days, and this week and next week are the
> > end-of-the-quarter break.
>
> There's some little Peterskys wandering around as well, IIRC. Priorities
> abound.

Gotta talk to my mom about looking after the kids while we're riding, thanks
for reminding me. I've already recruited them for RSVP.

> That should be "our choices".

heh.

> Evaluate the RSVP ride
> afterwards.

Yeah. One of my thoughts is that the kids will be in a drama production the
two weeks before RSVP, so he'll have another opportunity to do extra riding,
while they're in rehearsal. He still has a chance of doing the necessary
training. August is still a ways off.

"Tom Keats" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:fd5bac.j01.ln@bud.garden.local...

> Aw, to heck with it. Pick d) and make it up to him later.
> Screw compromises. They never work as intended anyways.

LOL!

I've been thinking about it, and the 70 mile tandem thing sounds like the
most fun. We just have to do one or two longer rides on the thing so we both
are more comfortable with it as a possibility. I'll talk to him this
evening, see what he's thinking.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Please replace earthlink for mouse-potato and .net for .com
Home of the meditative cyclist:
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
See the books I've set free at: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

06-10-2004, 08:33 PM

"Mike Kruger" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:0a9d086aa6949047fb383e952a603dbd@news.teranew s.com...
> "Claire Petersky" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
> news:yV6yc.1963$zz.1825@attbi_s04...
> >
> > My husband's in school these days, and this week and next week are the
> > end-of-the-quarter break.
>
> There's some little Peterskys wandering around as well, IIRC. Priorities
> abound.

Gotta talk to my mom about looking after the kids while we're riding, thanks
for reminding me. I've already recruited them for RSVP.

> That should be "our choices".

heh.

> Evaluate the RSVP ride
> afterwards.

Yeah. One of my thoughts is that the kids will be in a drama production the
two weeks before RSVP, so he'll have another opportunity to do extra riding,
while they're in rehearsal. He still has a chance of doing the necessary
training. August is still a ways off.

"Tom Keats" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:fd5bac.j01.ln@bud.garden.local...

> Aw, to heck with it. Pick d) and make it up to him later.
> Screw compromises. They never work as intended anyways.

LOL!

I've been thinking about it, and the 70 mile tandem thing sounds like the
most fun. We just have to do one or two longer rides on the thing so we both
are more comfortable with it as a possibility. I'll talk to him this
evening, see what he's thinking.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Please replace earthlink for mouse-potato and .net for .com
Home of the meditative cyclist:
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
See the books I've set free at: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

06-10-2004, 08:33 PM

"Mike Kruger" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:0a9d086aa6949047fb383e952a603dbd@news.teranew s.com...
> "Claire Petersky" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
> news:yV6yc.1963$zz.1825@attbi_s04...
> >
> > My husband's in school these days, and this week and next week are the
> > end-of-the-quarter break.
>
> There's some little Peterskys wandering around as well, IIRC. Priorities
> abound.

Gotta talk to my mom about looking after the kids while we're riding, thanks
for reminding me. I've already recruited them for RSVP.

> That should be "our choices".

heh.

> Evaluate the RSVP ride
> afterwards.

Yeah. One of my thoughts is that the kids will be in a drama production the
two weeks before RSVP, so he'll have another opportunity to do extra riding,
while they're in rehearsal. He still has a chance of doing the necessary
training. August is still a ways off.

"Tom Keats" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:fd5bac.j01.ln@bud.garden.local...

> Aw, to heck with it. Pick d) and make it up to him later.
> Screw compromises. They never work as intended anyways.

LOL!

I've been thinking about it, and the 70 mile tandem thing sounds like the
most fun. We just have to do one or two longer rides on the thing so we both
are more comfortable with it as a possibility. I'll talk to him this
evening, see what he's thinking.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Please replace earthlink for mouse-potato and .net for .com
Home of the meditative cyclist:
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
See the books I've set free at: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

06-10-2004, 08:33 PM

"Mike Kruger" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:0a9d086aa6949047fb383e952a603dbd@news.teranew s.com...
> "Claire Petersky" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
> news:yV6yc.1963$zz.1825@attbi_s04...
> >
> > My husband's in school these days, and this week and next week are the
> > end-of-the-quarter break.
>
> There's some little Peterskys wandering around as well, IIRC. Priorities
> abound.

Gotta talk to my mom about looking after the kids while we're riding, thanks
for reminding me. I've already recruited them for RSVP.

> That should be "our choices".

heh.

> Evaluate the RSVP ride
> afterwards.

Yeah. One of my thoughts is that the kids will be in a drama production the
two weeks before RSVP, so he'll have another opportunity to do extra riding,
while they're in rehearsal. He still has a chance of doing the necessary
training. August is still a ways off.

"Tom Keats" <[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]> wrote in message
news:fd5bac.j01.ln@bud.garden.local...

> Aw, to heck with it. Pick d) and make it up to him later.
> Screw compromises. They never work as intended anyways.

LOL!

I've been thinking about it, and the 70 mile tandem thing sounds like the
most fun. We just have to do one or two longer rides on the thing so we both
are more comfortable with it as a possibility. I'll talk to him this
evening, see what he's thinking.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Please replace earthlink for mouse-potato and .net for .com
Home of the meditative cyclist:
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
See the books I've set free at: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

06-10-2004, 11:40 PM

Both Mike and Tom offered solid advice. I'd only add that Mike is 100% right-
encouraging one's spouse often sounds like nagging. It used to take my wife
about 25 miles or so before she would tell me that my encouraging, "Pedal,
dammit! Pedal!", wasn't inspiring her but hey.... once I learned it failed to
inspire I stopped saying it so give me a *little* credit. <g>
Tom's right as well. If you change your plans to accommodate your husband's
lack of saddle time you'll be unhappy and he'll feel guilty. If you don't,
he'll be unhappy and *you* will feel guilty. Compromise will just make both of
you unhappy and guilt ridden. If I found my wife and myself in the situation
you describe I think I'd just stick with my original plan and do the longer
ride solo. I'd deal with the guilt later.

Regards,
Bob Hunt

06-10-2004, 11:40 PM

Both Mike and Tom offered solid advice. I'd only add that Mike is 100% right-
encouraging one's spouse often sounds like nagging. It used to take my wife
about 25 miles or so before she would tell me that my encouraging, "Pedal,
dammit! Pedal!", wasn't inspiring her but hey.... once I learned it failed to
inspire I stopped saying it so give me a *little* credit. <g>
Tom's right as well. If you change your plans to accommodate your husband's
lack of saddle time you'll be unhappy and he'll feel guilty. If you don't,
he'll be unhappy and *you* will feel guilty. Compromise will just make both of
you unhappy and guilt ridden. If I found my wife and myself in the situation
you describe I think I'd just stick with my original plan and do the longer
ride solo. I'd deal with the guilt later.

Regards,
Bob Hunt

06-10-2004, 11:40 PM

Both Mike and Tom offered solid advice. I'd only add that Mike is 100% right-
encouraging one's spouse often sounds like nagging. It used to take my wife
about 25 miles or so before she would tell me that my encouraging, "Pedal,
dammit! Pedal!", wasn't inspiring her but hey.... once I learned it failed to
inspire I stopped saying it so give me a *little* credit. <g>
Tom's right as well. If you change your plans to accommodate your husband's
lack of saddle time you'll be unhappy and he'll feel guilty. If you don't,
he'll be unhappy and *you* will feel guilty. Compromise will just make both of
you unhappy and guilt ridden. If I found my wife and myself in the situation
you describe I think I'd just stick with my original plan and do the longer
ride solo. I'd deal with the guilt later.

Regards,
Bob Hunt

06-10-2004, 11:40 PM

Both Mike and Tom offered solid advice. I'd only add that Mike is 100% right-
encouraging one's spouse often sounds like nagging. It used to take my wife
about 25 miles or so before she would tell me that my encouraging, "Pedal,
dammit! Pedal!", wasn't inspiring her but hey.... once I learned it failed to
inspire I stopped saying it so give me a *little* credit. <g>
Tom's right as well. If you change your plans to accommodate your husband's
lack of saddle time you'll be unhappy and he'll feel guilty. If you don't,
he'll be unhappy and *you* will feel guilty. Compromise will just make both of
you unhappy and guilt ridden. If I found my wife and myself in the situation
you describe I think I'd just stick with my original plan and do the longer
ride solo. I'd deal with the guilt later.

Regards,
Bob Hunt